Hi, my name is Red Clover

I’m out power walking (*cough*cough*bullshit*) with the Lil’un and Dorky on Sunday. I spy a plant along the walking path that stands out from the rest.  I spy two actually but I’m only going to talk about the one today.  While Lil’un nibbled on her own teeny toes, Dorky and I pondered it.  It looks like clover but…not? I snapped a picture on my phone, which I couldn’t find later.  Me and the phone aren’t best buds. Nevertheless, I did my due diligence and I found the little guy.

Meet Red Clover (trifolium pratense).

Red Clover is a clover, you know, look at the name.  It was the color and the size that made Dorky and I doubt that it was kin to the Clover family.

I have heard of Red Clover in my perusal of teas in Whole Foods or other granola-type shops.  Mr Red can be found in all sorts of teas.  Fertility teas come to mind and, I think, teas for menopause.  Red Clover has some kind of something in it that mimics estrogen. I’m no scientist so don’t think I’m going to spew scientific words here as if I would know.  If you want to learn more about Mr Red Clover then I suggest you look him up. (I’m restraining myself from going into a diatribe about due diligence.)

Another thing I know about Red Clover, which I learned from my gardening and lawn care endeavors, is that clover is very good at putting nitrogen into the ground which makes grass very happy.  It’s the reason I don’t spread the weed-killer to get rid of it.  I figure the clover (I have white clover in my yard) puts nitrogen in the ground and when the neighborhood bunnies come to eat the clover they fertilize my grass too.  The whole cycle of life, you get it. I don’t mind the bunnies now that I purchase seasonal plants which they don’t like to eat.  We all get along now.

Back to Red Clover…

I will end by informing you that it is the flower of Denmark and the State flower of Vermont.  I bet you didn’t know that, and knowing is half the battle.

“I don’t hardly know her but I think I could love her.” Crimson and Clover by Tommy James & the Shondells.

It’s my vice…and I’ll do nothing if I want to.

I’m lazy.  That’s my vice.  Well, I have more but that’s another blog.  For now I will discuss lazy and defend it.

What is lazy?  According to Webster’s dictionary it is the “lack of desire to expend effort”.  Some say sloth and lazy are the same thing but that makes me uncomfortable.  Sloth takes lazy to the next step, I think.  Sloth is one of the seven Deadly Sins.  Sloth is believed to be so bad that it destroys good in a man’s heart and could possibly lead to eternal damnation.  This all sounds pretty harsh and sloth apparently is when a person is just spiritually apathetic.  Also, I just can’t be sloth because of the movie Seven and can’t look at those Xmas tree shaped car fresheners the same either.

Shiver. Blech.

Vile, vile, vile.

I’m just lazy.  I love to sit on the couch and watch a movie.  Even better is to watch a whole day marathon of a mini-series or a reality show or the same movie over and over.  Totally mind-numbing.  Get a little doze in now and then, peel my butt off the couch to find something quick to eat, then repeat.  I could spend the time reading and then I don’t even eat.  I’m lost in a story as my North side grows some lichen.  Sometimes I won’t call someone because I simply don’t want to get up and fetch the phone.  I’m okay with that.  I can call them later.  The house might need cleaning but unless there’s a good reason it needs to be at this second, I won’t do it.  I like to move only when I have to.

Did you know it’s common among animals in the wide to be the same way?  From hummingbirds to lions, they put all their energy to finding food and eating and then…they chill out.  No muss, no fuss, no stress.

My mom was always good about getting onto me about being lazy when I was a teen.  I’ve made up a good defense.  According to a man called Peter Binsfield, who was a Bishop and wrote a book about demons, there is a particular demon called Belphegor.

Belphegor loves to be licentious and indulge in orgies when he’s not tempting folks with laziness.  He likes to mess with people by bringing wealth and “ingenious inventions” into their lives.  I bet the Lay-z-Boy was one of these inventions.  If you are thinking this bloke sounds like someone you would like to talk to, well, it is said that he can only be conjured up while on the toilet  because his sacrifical offering is poop.  Yup, I kid you not.  Or…go to France.  Supposedly he is Hell’s ambassador to France.  I don’t make this up.  OH!  And he’s worshipped in the form of a phallus.  I’m not making this up I swear!  

I wonder how The Charmed Ones would vanquish him. Could the power of three and a potion return him in a ball of fire to the Netherworld?  Could they vanquish laziness?  Does laziness really need to be vanquished?

I’m okay being lazy.  There are people that I see who are very diligent.  Running around like the White Rabbit and getting things done.  Pro-active. A go-getter. It’s awesome.  I admire that trait so much.  I don’t admire how stressed they are and how they can stress people out around them.  Stress can lead to another whole mess of issues: ulcers, constant sinus infections, smoking which takes you down the path to lung cancer, hair loss, nervous jitters, frowning, drinking. Oh the list goes on.  But is it really necessary to make yourself sick if a pillow is out of place? The bed isn’t made? Dishes in the sink? Chill out.

Laziness can be bad for you.  I am aware of this.  As with everything else in life, laziness must be done in moderation.  It’s hard to keep it from taking over.  I think that’s the only good thing about having a job; it forces me to do something.  There are times when I think it would be nice not to know lazy.  I think about being those people who are always on the go as I have my feet propped up and I switch the channel on the boob tube. The thought doesn’t linger long.

Although I haven’t learned to vanquish laziness, I have learned to work with it or around it.  The answer is schedules.  Being a wife and mom now, I have to schedule lazy in.  So Belphegor can come around, but he needs to call for an appointment.